WaffleBox

I lie… Almost everyday…

First the obvious…

1. My Email Address
I am at some form of an electronics store or computer store nearly everyday and they all want my email address. I usually give them some variation on my real email when I am caught off guard, but sometimes I give them something really difficult and watch them fumble, wasting everyones time. Or something really juvenile like prplhddwarior@…

2. My Phone Number
Come on now… who the hell gives out their real phone number to big box retailers. Are you nuts? Just give them 10 completely random numbers. Don’t be silly.

3. My Job Title
I’ve been “self-employed” for six years or more and to be honest I have never even considered giving myself a title, but sometimes people ask and I give different answers depending on my setting:

• Founder
• Owner
• President
• Lone Employee
• Street Team Leader in Charge of Outreach Members
• Director of Online Guerrilla Tactics

4. My Name
I could pronounce my name 1,000 times and people still butcher it which completely shocks me. I just told it to you and can’t even repeat what I said back to me? So when ordering delivery or making a reservation I sometimes use John, my middle name.

Is Raffy really that hard to pronounce?

5. What I Had for Lunch
It sounds strange to lie about, but if I admitted to anyone how much Chipotle I ate, I am sure they would think I was nuts. More specifically my girlfriend. Let me explain before you judge me… I live exactly one mine away from a Chipotle, the perfect distance for an afternoon walk, the perfect round trip length for either Greg Galant’s Venture Voice of TWiT (This Week in Tech). Also, most other restaurants in the area are sit down, there is no fast food other that the usual burger places, but I limit the amout of meat I eat. Chipotle is so easy to get, cup of black beans, two cups rice, pico de gao, corn salsa and some guacamole.

6. What I Did on the Weekends
Well… I don’t really lie, but I embellish. Instead of saying, “I had lunch with Kathy and Sara, then went to the bookstore”, I would liven it up a bit as “Kathy and I hooked up with Sara before she went back home, we had a little going away lunch party thingy and had huge breakfast burritos from this place on Armitage! It was amazing…” you get the idea.

That is all I have for right now, but I am sure more will pop into my head later.

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